


Violent Vindication

by Anonymous



Category: DreamSMP, Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: But Imagine, Crack Treated Seriously, Wet Hands, a lot of swearing, but also not at all, if it happened
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-21
Updated: 2020-12-21
Packaged: 2021-03-11 05:14:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28209642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Another life gone to Technoblade, for fuck’s sake. He buried his face in his hands, feeling blood smudge and stick to his skin. He couldn’t keep dying to that self-absorbed terrorist, not when one more death would mean the end of him. And then everything he’d worked for would be destroyed. Gone to shit.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 12
Collections: Anonymous





	Violent Vindication

Quackity jolted up in a cold sweat, his hand clamped over his mouth. The grime of the tunnels still stung his skin, and his body jolted in shivers as he remembered the blunt end of a rusty pickaxe slamming down toward his face. When he held out his hand, he saw that it was slicked with red. 

Another life gone to Technoblade, for fuck’s sake. He buried his face in his hands, feeling blood smudge and stick to his skin. He couldn’t keep dying to that self-absorbed terrorist, not when one more death would mean the end of him. And then everything he’d worked for would be destroyed. Gone to shit.  
He stood up shakingly and stumbled slowly through L’Manberg. There was a single idea spinning in his head as he shouldered through the unlocked door of a vacant house. Scanning the room, he felt his breath catch when he saw it: an ender chest, glowing softly in the darkness. 

His heart pounded furiously against his ribs as he approached it slowly. Was this really the only possibility? It must be. Besides, Techno had shot a goddamn rocket into him at the festival. In comparison, this couldn’t be so bad. 

He reached out and, with a shaking hand, opened the chest. And there it was. He wiped the sweat beading on his forehead. Metallic and cold, shining softly in beckoning, it lay there like a jewel in a showcase. 

A fucking netherite chainsaw. Hell yeah. 

They would never suspect. 

\----

The Sun’s soft glow was just touching the roofs of L’Manberg when Quackity stormed through wielding a fucking chainsaw. 

“Come out, motherfuckers,” he yelled, wildly swinging the whirring chainsaw around like Gordon Ramsay with a ladle. “I’ve got a bone to pick with you!”

Fundy, who was walking along the pathway with a basket of stolen goods, turned around and gaped like a fish on steroids. “What are you doing Qu–” he didn’t finish his sentence. Because Quackity fucking got him with the fucking chainsaw. 

Ranboo was mapping out his plans for his presidential campaign when Quackity carved a hole through the side of his house. “Please,” Ranboo pleaded, “we can have a peaceful presidential race. You don’t need to do this.” But Quackity was already fucking chain-sawing him, so that possibility was kind of screwed. 

Skeppy and Bad were having an uwu picnic when Quackity mowed through the grass with his fuckin–  
“–Language!” Bad screeched. 

Quackity clicked the off button and gently placed the not-fucking chainsaw beside him in the soft grass. “I didn’t even say anything,” he protested in a calm voice. 

Except he didn’t do that, because he speared Skeppy with the fucking chainsaw. 

Bad screamed. “What the fu–” but he didn’t finish because he also got speared. Double-speared. By the fucking chainsaw. 

In this manner, Quackity slaughtered the entire smp population with great exuberance (but not much tact). Soon, he approached the final boss, the object of his bloody mission. 

“Technoblade,” he snarled. 

Technoblade was gathering potatoes from his farm, a straw basket at his side and Wet Hands playing in the background. He turned around at a dramatically slow pace and said, “Heh?”

Quackity howled in rage and began to swing his chainsaw around again. And he probably would have gotten Techno too, but as he walked menacingly forward, he tripped on a pebble and got fucking self-chainsawed. 

\---

In Hell, a curious miracle transpired. Quackity’s lost political ally, his love, his mortal enemy, was standing there. 

“Schlatt,” he tore up, remembering all the fond and terrible moments they’d shared together. “I’m so–”

–but then he looked down and saw it in his hand. 

“Well fuck me gently with a….”

**Author's Note:**

> guess the last words.
> 
> psst.. the answer starts with 'f' and ends with 'ucking chainsaw.'
> 
> if you wanted a visual:  
> https://twitter.com/rachel_chennie/status/1340858922115227648


End file.
